What to say...

We lost a dear friend. Steve (aka Papa Steve) who lived across the street from us passed away on March 6, 2011 after a year-long battle with cancer.

Steve & his wife, Susan

Addie & Papa Steve putting a puzzle together

Papa Steve & Nana Susan with their grandson, Draven and Addisen (who's adopted :)

Stephen J. Evans, 63, died Sunday March 6, 2011 after a courageous battle with cancer. Born in Dayton, Ohio. Retired from Alltel after 25 1/2 years. After retirement worked for Apache Camper Center and Lincoln Public Schools as a bus driver. Veteran U.S. Air Force 1966-1970. Member SouthPointe Christian Church and Master Mason in Craftsman Lodge #314 AF&AM. Served as Master of North Star Lodge #227 AF&AM in 1993. Avid camper, fisherman and hunter until overcome with cancer.

Survived by loving wife Susan; step-son James Tellier and grandson Draven Tellier of Lincoln; daughters Jacqueline Evans and Mandy Evans of San Diego; mother Esther Evans; sister Nancy and husband Steven Routson of Birmingham, Ala.; brother-in-law Phil Zaborowski, Centerville, Ohio; mother and father-in-law Madeline and Chuck Arent; brother-in-law Robert and wife Deb Varga of Lincoln; brother-in-law Dave Varga of Sanger, Texas, brother-in-law Chris and wife Lori Arent of Wahoo; sister-in-law Lisa and husband Michael Iverson; sisters-in-law April Varga and Angela Ashcraft all of Lincoln; and many adoring nieces and nephews. Preceded in death by father Richard Evans and sister Susan Zaborowski.

Cremation with no visitation. Services to be held at SouthPointe Christian Church, Saturday March 12, 2011 at 10:30 a.m. Reverend Dr. Craig Walls officiating. In lieu of flowers, donations to Make a Wish foundation of Lincoln, 201 N 8th St # 210, Lincoln, NE 68508-1347. Condolences:www.aspen aftercare.com. Aspen Cremation and Burial Service, 4822 Cleveland, Ave., Lincoln.

http://journalstar.com/lifestyles/announcements/obituaries/article_39ab8caf-fd8c-57c9-a068-7443ebcf9b81.html

My absolute favorite picture of Addie & Papa Steve from last 4th of July

All of this has lead to some discussions that are way to serious for a 4 year old to understand. But we found a really neat book at Barnes and Noble:

We've read it a couple times with Addie, and it gives a very open and frank discussion about death and what it involves, but I love it because it also discusses different beliefs, cultures, and customs.

It's really sweet, because whenever you ask Addie about Papa Steve her answer is always the same: a big smile, and "Papa Steve died! Papa Steve went to see Jesus!" And if you ask her if she misses Papa Steve, she says "Yes, I miss Papa Steve. Papa Steve loves me. Papa Steve went to see Jesus!"

And while that's really sweet, it's kinda tricky when his wife comes over and all Addie wants to say to her is the above phrases. Which is very bittersweet, because what a healthy attitude to have towards death (and what a great way to be remembered) with smiles and excitement, but difficult for adults who are grieving to hear.